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The Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Forums

Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Talk about all aspects of snoring. Request help from others with the same problem, tell your story, exchange tips & techniques .. in fact, anything snoring related
black_rose_99
Private Snorer
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Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:57 pm

Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by black_rose_99 » Wed Dec 28, 2016 2:46 pm

Hi All,

I am new to these boards, and after a planned Christmas break with my SO ending in him asking me to leave earlier than anticipated, I am feeling ashamed, down and basically terrible about my snoring. He is able to tune out crying babies and full volume televisions, but not me, and we are both not getting sleep. We don't live together, but now I'm filled with anxiety and dread when we plan to see each other, knowing that neither of us will sleep well, it will be an awkward terrible night with me ending up wracked with guilt and silently crying, while he gets more and more infuriated with grumpy sighs.

We ended up with one of us on the couch most nights over Christmas. Currently, as I say, we don't live together. He wants us to move in together, but this issue around bed times and sleep is preventing me from being able to commit - I'm really unsure how to deal with this for the next 30 years or so. He wants us to get a two bedroom place so there is a spare bedroom to move into during the night when I keep him awake.

While I agree with the idea in principle, I am saddened that I won't be able to wake up with him next to me, or curl around him during the night. While I agree we might both sleep better, I eventually want to marry this person and have children - I don't want those children to live in a world where mummy and daddy sleep in separate beds. I am confused as I have had partners before hand and I have not felt this badly about my snoring with previous partners.

I've seen a few people post here, and many have spoken about spare bedrooms or sleeping on the couch. My question then is how your relationship fared? How did you deal with it? Do you have kids, what did you say to them? Am I overreacting? When sleeping together for me is so important to my relationships, but getting enough sleep for both of us is also a priority, I'm having trouble figuring out whether this is a deal breaker and how to move around the issue of separate beds, and I'd be really grateful for anything anyone has to say/help/advise.

Thank you!

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Sleep2Snore
General Snorer
Posts: 2868
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by Sleep2Snore » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:31 pm

Download SNORECLOCK just to see how bad your snoring really is.
Look at the results (Instructions on the page) and look to see if you also stop breathing during the night?
Then go and talk to your doctor and take the phone, iPad, Tablet you downloaded Snoreclock to with you and show the doctor.

Others might be along to give you advice if they were affected.
S2S - Sleep2Snore

Phil s

Re: Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by Phil s » Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:44 am

His there. I decamped from our marital bed 4 years ago. I understand your feelings. I had them myself. However, after the inevitable guilt had gone and we started to talk about our real feelings over the matter, it became very clear that we were sleeping better, feeling more refreshed, not snappy with tiredness etc that we realised that this is good and wished we had done it MUCH sooner! We are blissfully happy and, if the truth be known, our sex life is so much better. I just trot across the landing for a visit now and again. It feels more ... naughty! We both agreed that if we needed a cuddle during the night if we were low or feeling lonely that the door would ALWAYS be open. I wish you luck. I'd recommend separate rooms in.a heartbeat. Love mr Phil & mrs Phil from Essex. X

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Sleep2Snore
General Snorer
Posts: 2868
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by Sleep2Snore » Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:10 pm

:lol: Well that's one way of looking at things.
Most though don't get round to that and others just want to sleep in the same bed.
S2S - Sleep2Snore

Helen

Re: Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by Helen » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:34 pm

my husband and i have struggled since we met. but somehow we moved in together, got married and had a baby. i have tried everything possible and been to my gp and was referred to ENT sleep clinic. they could find nothing medical. only a possibility that my lower jaw is too small therefore constricting my throat when sleeping. whilst pregnant i slept in the nursery most nights and then i carried on sleeping there alongside my daughter until she was 6 months old, which worked as my husband was going to work everyday whilst i dealt with night feeds etc. i also couldn't believe how much stress my snoring caused both of us as no previous partner had ever mentioned it.. we struggle along at the moment but i'm considering one last effort of buying a more expensive MAD, if that doesn't work we will just get by with the occasional night in the nursery..atleast my daughter sleeps through my snoring...if the love is there you just find a way, but i understand the guilt

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Sleep2Snore
General Snorer
Posts: 2868
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Sleeping in separate bedrooms

Post by Sleep2Snore » Thu Jan 19, 2017 1:15 pm

Hi Helen,

It is not easy, but good on you and your husband for working hard to get through it.
A MAD device might work for you, but have you thought about buying a second hand APAP machine if it doesn't?
A receding jaw can cause your throat to restrict or your tongue to fall back and restrict your throat.
If a MAD does not work think about an APAP machine. It might work to keep your throat clear and it will stop the snoring.

Just a thought.
S2S - Sleep2Snore

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