Well I am female, 27 and not overweight and I have always been a heavy snorer, something I always figured I inherited from my Father, who used to have to sleep separately from my Mother at the other end of the house it was that bad. (he was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea last year) My ex-partner and I were together for 9 years and lived together for 6 years and he had to wear ear plugs every night for those 6 years. (and no the ex-bit was not due to my snoring, ha ha) But still I felt awful about it and was constantly apologising.
Also on weekends away with friends, I would have to sit and debrief anyone with the misfortune of ending up in the same room as me, handing them a pair of earplugs and apologising. (it was even worse if I had been drinking)
In 2006/2007 a friend remarked that the snoring noises I made when sleeping could be terrifying because they were so varied, loud and chokey. Not only that but by God did I babble a lot of incoherent rubbish, sometimes even shouting. My poor flatmate had to hear it all.
So 2008 was a year of exhaustion for me and it got so bad I was passing out at my desk at work, so I saw the Doctor, got a sleep study at hospital and I was diagnosed in November with Severe Sleep Apnea and put straight into Cpap machine. This has solved the exhaustion problems and as a cheeky bonus the full face mask and air dampens the snoring, so much so that on a recent stay over with family my current boyfriend was able to share a single bed with me and actually get some sleep, despite the amusing logistics of the mask and hose attachment.
In the end, this is not something that is your fault, the only way to cope with this, with family and friends is through humour and honestly, you tell them up front they can stay over but you warn them, as I have said on some occasions, if they think there is a tank about to break through the wall of their bedroom around 2am it's only my snoring. This way they are warned and if they love you they won't blame you, can't say they weren't warned. But seriously, don't feel embarrassed by this, think about it this way, there are MUCH more embarrassing afflictions you could be cursed with and always remember this, no matter how big a deal it seems to us, our friends and relatives probably don't see it as an issue at all.
In terms of your partner, this is a different issue, as, if you live together, or will potentially live together, he is exposed to it everynight. if he is coping using the earplugs then good, really it's a small price to pay to be with the woman you love. However if he is finding himself tired and resentful, or you suspect so, then maybe something needs to be done. Quite what, I am not sure, maybe it's worth getting an Apnea test, or a mouth guard, or even something as simple as having him go to bed an hour before you so the he is in deeper sleep by the time the snoring starts. (my ex partner and I did this for a year or so) Even a bigger bed can make a difference. The important thing is that you are a pair and work through it together, of course it is good you feel concerned for him and his sleep quality in relation to your snoring, but guilt only serves to make you feel bad and I am sure that's the last thing he wants. Try not to let this isolate you, it is outwith your control. Look at it this way, if it was one of your friends or a relative or your partner who was a loud snorer, you would never dream of being this hard on them, so please don't be to yourself.
I hope you find a solution and even if it takes a while, at least some peace with your guilt in the meantime, because it will do nothing constructive for you, believe me I know.
Cpap - Darth Vader Gimp masks rule!