Again Gerry, congratulations on your courage. I recognise that I am very fortunate because my husband has supported me 100% with my CPAP machine. Mind you he had over 25 years of hell before then with all the noise I made. I do realise how lucky I am and do feel for you and others who don't have this luxury.
My wife says the noise the machine makes is keeping her awake, also the noise of air escaping from the mask is to load. I can't hear any noise at all myself, am I losing my hearing ?. She wouldn't consider wearing ear plugs as this would require her to do something that is a consequence of me being overweight, which as far as she is concerned is my fault so it's me who needs to sort it out not her doing anything to help. Sorry if this sounds bitter & I don't think she is deliberately being nasty, it's just the way she see's it. So her interpretation if you like, however it's not being very supportive.
You know, just hearing this paragraph in my head, really concerns me. I understand a bit about how your wife feels ... well you did it once (lose weight) and there was no problem so if you could/would only do it again you could not only solve the problem of snoring for you but also for me ..
But this doesn't feel right. You cannot necessarily lose weight to order and there is no cast-iron guarantee that doing so would remove your wife's problem. Because I do think that at least 50% of this problem is your wife's. Logically, if it is your problem and due to your weight, then it is up to you and you only to resolve it. But logic doesn't always hold true. And even if you did get down to your previous weight, and the snoring were to stop (speaking hypothetically because I'm not sure that the two would happen exactly as they did before) I'm not sure that even then your wife would be welcoming you back to the same room and/or the same bed. She would have to get used to a change in her sleeping habits (the current ones with you on the sofa elsewhere seem to quite acceptable and she doesn't seem to want to seek you out or try to change the situation herself) which she might be unwilling to do, and you too would have to change back to one room and/or one bed which you too might find too hard an adjustment to make.
So you might be no further on in resolving the problem x months down the line ...
What I'm trying to say is that the problem you are both facing is at least 50% your wife's. It is not one-sided with you as the guilty person and the one at fault. She may not be able to see that her lack of tolerance of your change in lifestyle (for the better I might add) and her rejection of you is serious, and could lead to a situation where you
may choose not to return to the same room or cuddle up at a time in the future, preferring your 'independence' to showing affection to someone who has not only diminished your self-esteem but also to a certain extent your masculinity. She is risking a lot more than blaming you for your weight gain and snoring. I would not like to be in her shoes.......
Might I suggest you consider couples therapy - such as with Relate - or at least see if they (or another competent professional counselling organisation) could help you (either singly or as a couple). She may not realise it, but she
could be stretching your relationship to breaking point by her present behaviour, rather than holding out a possible carrot for your relationship in the future if you lose weight etc .... and without her support and encouragement, I wonder if you might reach a stage of wondering whether it is worth all the pain and heartbreak of dieting etc, when there is no guarantee that you will be loved at the end of it. Far better to be loved for the person you are now, with imperfections (and goodness knows we ALL have them), with the hope that the future will reduce some of these, than to dismiss the real person in the here and now for a fantasy of what that person might (or might not) become in the future, especially when the 'future' does not have a fixed time limit.
Please take care of yourself and protect yourself. I am sure she does not mean any harm but there are other ways of supporting a person having a temporary set back, and the method she seems to be used to using risks causing permanent damage than optimistic progress.