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The Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Forums

Partner snoring affecting relationship

Talk about all aspects of snoring. Request help from others with the same problem, tell your story, exchange tips & techniques .. in fact, anything snoring related

Partner snoring affecting relationship

Post by RosiePosieUK » Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:58 pm

Hi, this is my first post here. I've been seeing a new boyfriend for the last 6 months or so, but his snoring is really affecting the growth of our relationship.

He isn't overweight, doesn't drink excessively, doesn't smoke. He has had sinus issues in the past but they seem to have been cured by a sinus spray. I suspect he may be in the habit of breathing in a certain way after years of sinus problems, so its hard to change the way he's used to breathing.

Anyway, we both want to move forwards with our relationship, but the fact that I can't sleep a full night in the same bed as him is a problem. I have anxiety about getting to sleep when we are together, I can't relax enough to fall asleep because I know that any minute the snoring will start. Whenever I do attempt to stay the full night, I wake up constantly and get angry and frustrated, and am tired in the morning. I've tried ear plugs but they don't block out the noise completely. So because of my anxiety around his snoring, we tend not to stay at each others places as much as we would like, and this is inhibiting the growth of our relationship.

I'm really interested to hear about other people's experience of this, and what you've done about it.

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Re: Partner snoring affecting relationship

Post by Sleep2Snore » Mon Jan 11, 2016 5:08 pm

I take it you have talked to him about it.
The best place to start is with your doctor.
He will send him to ENT (ear nose and throat) just to check there is nothing amiss.
Do not be persuaded by any doctor there to let him have a operation though. Talk this over with your own doctor first.
Some appear to push operations as the answer to snoring, but some of these operations, if successful, may not last long and can be very very painful.
They also have a high risk of infection. If this is suggested, tell them you will think about it.
Does he stop breathing when he is sleeping and start again with a gasp?
If so you need to ask the doctor for a sleep study. If not, you need to go along to the doctor (go with him) and explain just how bad his snoring is.
He may want to try some things first, go with the flow, but when he say he does not know what to do next ask for a Sleep Study. He may or may not be on the verge of Sleep Apnoea. Some people though just snore. The doctor should be able to give him a spray etc to try, I doubt if it might work, but you need to go to the doctor to try to take it to a result. If he has feelings for you and he wants to take the relationship forward he will go if you support him. Staying away from Alcohol at night will also help. Sometimes a doctor needs a good shove t do something about snoring, so be prepared to argue the point.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.
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Re: Partner snoring affecting relationship

Post by vivaelpresidente » Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:28 pm


I really feel for you - I have now lost two partners because my snoring is excessive. Small advice which has helped me - if you have an android phone get the app snoreclock and record a good week's worth of your partner's snoring. The beauty of this little app is that you dont have to be present and it exports all of the data. My doctor actually/finally took me seriously with 8 days of evidence! (The ENT is another matter but one step at a time!)

I really wish you well and please support your partner too; he will feel a bit crap about his snoring; cant help it/cant quickly cure it so he is trapped really.

If you both really care for one another then work as a loving team; my current lady whinges a bit but is increasingly supportive to this issue as she wants a relationship with me.

I wish you total success.

All the very best


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