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The Snoring & Sleep Apnoea Forums

Help with a snoring partner

Talk about all aspects of snoring. Request help from others with the same problem, tell your story, exchange tips & techniques .. in fact, anything snoring related
Cuban_Pete

Help with a snoring partner

Post by Cuban_Pete » Thu Dec 08, 2016 11:14 pm

Hi All, I've just found this forum online and thought it would be a good place to vent my situation. I don't really expect that you'll be able to help too easily but I guess sometimes just putting it out there can be quite therapeutic. I feel that I'm in a very difficult position as my girlfriend's snoring is keeping me awake at night and it is significantly affecting my life.

We have been together for 18 months and I love her dearly. I'm 30 years old and I plan on marrying this girl. Without meaning to be too soppy I more or less instantly fell in love with her the day we met and losing her would be devastating. I've had several previous relationships and this is significantly different. The relationship we share is fantastic, we are both young, energetic, have great careers, get on well with each other's friends and families everything you could want really but we just have this issue with getting a good night's sleep.

We currently live 20 miles apart. I own my own home and she shares a flat with a work colleague, but we plan to move in together early next year. At the moment it suits us logistically that I stay at her place more than she stays at mine, as we both work closer to her place. She has a high pressured job and is always tired by the evening and falls asleep instantly and I mean INSTANTLY. I'm talking within 30 seconds of lights out! Sure enough after ten minutes of heavy breathing, she flips over on to her back and then comes the gargling, snoring, clicking chorus. I on the other hand am left an anxious wreck thinking that here we go again, another sleepless night. Another day as a zombie tomorrow and I watch the clock tick as the morning approaches. I'm a company director so I know there is no chance of me taking the day off to recover and I need to be on form throughout the day.

Being in her two bedroom'd apartment I have no escape, there is no spare room for me to go to. I have occasionally given in and slept on her couch but this is far from ideal as I literally wake up with a neck feeling as if I've been in a car crash and it's not nice for her flatmate to walk in to the lounge to find me under the covers. It also gives the impression that we've been fighting. I'm literally at my wits end and it's getting to be quite dangerous as I cover a lot of mileage with my work and I'm constantly tired. It's not too bad at weekends when I can have a few beers and don't have the pressure of a set time to rise, but even then I don't sleep through without having to roll her a few times.

It's bad for her also as she is a medical doctor in a specialist unit and I'm conscious of how precious the sleep is for her to be able to perform her role. It annoys me so much that we have the potential for such a perfect relationship and future but this involuntary problem is driving a wedge between us. I admit that I am a light sleeper and have on occasion had bouts of insomnia before I met her, so I don't think that the problem is 100% her, but when I'm alone in my house I can sleep soundly right through until my alarm.

When I approach the issue with my girlfriend it turns in to an argument, she becomes very embarrassed and takes it as a personal attack. She claims her previous boyfriends and friends have never told her that she snores and that I must be super sensitive. I have evidence on my phone to show her what she sounds like and it is a lot more than a little whistle here and there. I've suggested that we try some aids or visit her GP, but as she herself is a doctor she doesn't seem keen on any of these options.

I'm happy to sleep in separate beds, as losing her is the last thing I would want to happen and I think that she feels the same, but it feels very sad to be quite young still, not yet living together or married and for this to be our future. We are planning to buy a house together next year but I know that this issue is placing doubts about our future.

I'd be so grateful for any help or suggestions that anybody could give!

Mags1966

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Mags1966 » Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:26 pm

I understand completely. I was in the same position with partner. We have been together for 14 years no, I still get the occasional insomnia night, but the best thing I found was the snore calm ear plugs. I tried many different brands but these were the only ones which blocked most of the noise out. I now cannot sleep without them as my partner snores so badly! I was upset at first as when I was on my own I slept all night through, then as soon as we moved in together his snoring affected my sleep so badly that I felt really down. Its not healthy to keep getting interrupted sleep and it can affect your mood.
Do try different ear plugs until you find what suits you. Also follow the correct instructions on how to put them in your ears as its quite a knack!
Good luck

Guest

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Guest » Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:33 pm

Try the sleep nasal strips I am the girlfriend who snores so badly and my boyfriend has a long day at work they have helped so much I really recommend them and there drug free :-) good luck

Guest

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Guest » Wed Feb 22, 2017 4:38 pm

But if you use earplugs how do you hear the alarm? This is our problem.

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Sleep2Snore
General Snorer
Posts: 2771
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Sleep2Snore » Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:06 pm

Get an alarm with a flashing light or a strobe light.
Get a dog and train it to lick you to death when the alarm goes off :lol:

Maybe more important is how do you hear the fire alarm?
S2S - Sleep2Snore

Guest

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Guest » Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:18 pm

The snore calm foam earplugs are the best I have been with my husband for 30 years and he has mild sleep apneoa even the neighbors have asked us to keep our windows closed in the summer. As long as you use them correctly these are the best on the market

Guest

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Guest » Fri Mar 03, 2017 8:00 am

Hi, I snore terribly, I'm not entirely sure what the cause may be (it might be inflammation in the nostrils), but recently I have started drinking two pints of water right before bed and i recorded myself and it helps drastically.

Guest

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Guest » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:55 am

My husband snores badly. I have the snore calm earplugs, pillow over my head and I have to go to bed first. If I wake up in the night I will not be able to get to sleep as he will keep me awake. The ear plugs are better than others, but not great

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Sleep2Snore
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Posts: 2771
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Sleep2Snore » Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:35 am

I found ridged foam ear plugs that stay in and it is very quiet, can't remember where I got them, but it is quiet with them in, however, they are so good that even yourself swallowing sounds like an earthquake, but then I suppose your own noise is not so bad. It is like plugging your ears with your fingers and then swallowing or talking
They are more of a cone shape than most with ridges, brightly coloured but work well.
I will have to have a look for some.
S2S - Sleep2Snore

User avatar
Sleep2Snore
General Snorer
Posts: 2771
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:20 pm
Location: Aberdeenshire

Re: Help with a snoring partner

Post by Sleep2Snore » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:44 am

You need to get him to see a doctor, if he snores that loud he has a problem and might even have Sleep Apnoea. If he stops breathing through the night it is a good chance he has.
He may not have Sleep Apnoea, but if he snores that bad he may have a problem that can be fixed, he will eed to go to the doctor, the biggest trouble is a lot of doctors will not take snoring as serious, but it can be.
So if you can persuade him to go to the doctor, it is a start, but you may have to push a bit to get the doctor to take you both seriously. Tell the doctor that is affecting your sleep and your relationship.
If your husband will not go to the doctor, go yourself and explain what is going on to the doctor. The might say they can not do anything, but they might note it on his file for when he does go to the doctor.
You can only hope, but try to get him to go with you, it might be an easy enough fix, but you will never know until you go see the doctor.
S2S - Sleep2Snore

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